"Teachin', Part 2" by Droopy the Broke Baller

[a spoof of "Grindin' (remix)" by Clipse featuring Lil' Wayne and Baby
aka "Birdman"]
[from the phenomenal illpoets.com CD "All Seasons"]

(Teachin', teachin'...)
What's the sine and cosine and tangent, player, huh?
(Teachin', teachin'...)
Why you come in here high from mad spliffs, player, huh?
(Teachin'...)
It's a battle I'm losin', dude
(Teachin'...)
I can't handle; I'm human, too!
(Teachin'...)
I'm through with teachin' school; I'm leavin' fool
Droopeezy's through giving more of a bleep about you than you even do

When teachers complain about teaching, they withhold, yo
Won't tell you the whole because it doesn't sound "noble"
So instead they pull out of their sleeves
The classic argument: how the administration won't allow them to breathe
English teachers teaching math, way out of their league
Focused on standardized tests due to the powers that be
And I agree, but they be leaving out the main wack shit:
Them trifling-assed, bad-assed, insane-assed KIDS!!
"Teeeeeachiiiiiin'!"
Part one was on some funny shit
This one's on some "charter-board-is-fuckin'-with-my-money" shit!
Nobody calls me "Mister" 'cause I'm 26
And all of my students deserve "B's":
Black eyes and Bloody lips!
"Mista Aaaaan-da-sin, why you don't take us on no field trips?"
'Cause y'all be rollin' in the Smithsonian singing Lil' Flip
Raising hella commotion
David Chappelle quotin'
Cutting the other ear off Vincent van Gogh's self-portrait
"Teeeeeeachiiiin'!"
More like an underpaid policeman
A Drew-Tang killer priest exorcising demons
"Teeeeeeachiiiin'!"
Career choice of sado-masochists
I'm NEVER having kids as crazy as they little asses is!
Menaces to society of the Ritalin-dependent variety
I ask you where your homework is?
You lie to me
And when I call you out?
That's when you start eyeing me
And when I eye you back?
That's when you want to fight with me
And if I fight you back?
They'll FIRE me!
But then, would that be so bad?
At least I'd be rid of YOUR evil ass!

I'm through teeeeeachiiiin'
Drew's leeeeea-viiiin'
'Cause y'all some inappreciative little heeeeeeaa-thens
Everybody givin' Mr. Anderson crap
But everybody trip when Mr. Anderson snaps!
Screw teeeeeeachiiiin'
Drew's leeeea-viiiin'
'Cause y'all some inappreciative little heeeeea-thens
I'm through with teachin' school
I'm leavin', fool
Droopeezy's through giving more of a bleep about you than you even do

Virginia teachers used to keep their noses in the sky, dog
Until their superintendent caught that DWI charge
But hell, I feel her; I can't hardly call it
This profession would turn an angel to an alcoholic
"Teeeeeeeachiiiin'!"
Oh, and need a brother mention
Since I'm youngest in this bitch, they be treatin' a brother different?
I've heard of paying dues, but other teachers break the rules and they cool
But let me do it, and they act a straight fool
Some teachers run up in this joint rocking frickin' Chucks
But let MY gear not be crisp enough and watch a nigga get written up
The uniform isn't uniformly regulated
What's it matter what I wear long as the youth are educated?
And speaking of which, the textbooks are hella dated
Information in their weathered pages is hella ancient
Administration asking for more lab investigations
But order one test tube and spend the rest of the semester waitin'

I'm through teeeeeachiiiin'
Drew's leeeeea-viiiin'
'Cause y'all some inappreciative little heeeeeeaa-thens
Everybody givin' Mr. Anderson crap
But everybody trip when Mr. Anderson snaps!
Screw teeeeeeachiiiin'
Kiddo, I'm fed up
The principal took fifteen minutes off our break with no memo or heads-up
Speaking of lunch, that food is horrible stuff, kid
I wouldn't eat that shit if I could borrow YOUR stomach!

People look at teachers like, "Yo, what's up with y'all?
Always complaining, but you get the whole summer off.."
Well first of all, we need that rest to ease that stress
But since most of us go home with 30 G's at best
We doing other gigs
We double-dip
A couple shifts and then some
Summer school and summer camps to supplement that income
Look up and what?
"Awww, shit; it's September.."
Wishing we could be like Wyclef:
"Gone 'til November!"
Keep teaching?
Hell no, I done had enough, see
Tell you like Dave Chappelle, yo:
"WRAP IT UP, B!"
I'm too young and sexy to let these younguns vex me
Sick of that one security guard that's fuckin' testin' me
And to my students who listened, I love you to death, G
Touch life with your gloves off and clutch your destiny
Not giving up on you, cousin; just owning my shortcomings
If I taught you something of substance, it wasn't for nothing.
Teachin'.